Category Archives: road

Wreck-less

The days, they might be hot and dreary but tonight is a lovely night to be out. I am driving at a fast clip, with the windows down, the cool Delhi breeze, hastened by my rapid onslaught ruffling my hair, Carrying with it the wonderful smells of the more earthy aspects of the city, the green lungs, the trees that the british so wisely planted.

I love this city

This beautiful city, lit with streetlights that adorn it like jewels on a necklace. This city my home, these undulating roads, so familiar, a blur as I hurtle along at roughly 36 meters for every passing second.

I find gaps in the traffic and floor the pedal, passing through tiny spaces. I am being a little reckless, my heartbeat stays level as I move further along. Leaving perhaps some surprised drivers behind.

Once you have decided to make a move, you have no option but to stick to it. Hesitate or brake and you will end up a wreck.

The reason I drive fast is not because I need to be somewhere fast, the reason I push myself to the limit is not because I need to show off, the reason why I am doing 130 kms per hour at 10:30 is because I can. The reason I am driving with the wind is because with the world reduced to a blur, the music playing in the background and my feet on the gas in my lovely car, I am free.

So here I am, a blur, taking my chances, rolling headfirst into the future, nary a worry on my mind. For I know, there will be bumps on the road, an occasional traffic check and the odd roadblock but I am in the driver’s seat and I am going to see all of this through with the mindless determination of an oaf, the resolute desire of a man on the run, the focus of a man who knows no other way….

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Flirting with Disaster

 

A bump in the road, woke me up

Just the right time.

I looked at the open, two lane, undivided highway

I looked at the speedometer, 90 kph, reasonably fast for Indian roads

I looked at the driver, he nodded.

He wasnt looking at me.

His eyes were half closed, he nodded again.

I said, nothing. I just watched.

He clumsily tried to adjust the neck rest, like a sleeping man would adjust his pillow

I watched, In rapt attention.

He leaned over and placed his elbow on the passenger seat and rested his head on his hand.

I waited for him to close his eyes and sleep.

I did not want to die. I dont want to die. But, this could be interesting.

90 kilometers per hour, he veered towards the other lane

Then back, again.

Anytime now, I thought.

“How long will it take, brother”

My colleague asked.

I looked at him, kill-joy, I muttered under my breath and went off to sleep.

Funny thing is..

He, Did not know.

 

Road rage!

I am convinced, all ppl on Delhi roads are animals! To give you some background i have just come back home after trudging 30 kms in an astounding 2 hours, and no it was not a crawl all the way there were sections where i hit 120 and i was doing 80 wherever possible. However the only thing managed to do was to get from one jam to another faster….
So many idiots holding a drivers license behave like cows on the road, like an unstoppable herd of wilderbeest plowing its way across the Savannah! I wish i had a sniper rifle or better a shoulder fired missile or even better a tank! an M1 Abrams would do just fine with its jet turbine propulsion, thank you !
I have however been on a zen trip…. Like all Indian who suck at what they do but still excel at handing advice, I shall dispense Tips to Control Road Rage!

Lets begin!!
  1. The best way to control your rage is to channel it! why bottle up inside? open your window and scream hysterically! not only will it make everyone else crap their pants, it will also clear your throat! Nothing boosts your reputation in the neighbourhood as the knowledge that you have trouble written all over your face. In case they cant read it, try a darker pen to write.
  2. Take a power nap, turn off your engines and turn the music up loud so the honking wont disturb you and go to sleep…wear this mask so that when the cars and tucks behind you want you to move and somebody really really angry walks up to you to check whats up, you can put the love of god back into them.
  3. More music, and remember to honk in tune….this helps transfer your rage to the other simians behind the wheels.
  4. Expert studies have proven that driving while waving the middle finger out of the window reduces stress by 34% however in certain unfortunate cases it is also known to reduce number of hands by 50% we want you safe, get your buddy to do it for you.
  5. Buy a truck, traffic jams will seem lengthier from your vantage point, but you will be able to squeeze in every possible/impossible opening without a care, your truck already looks crap and no one will leave the paint and metal that you scrape off from the other cars! In fact it might make you the man you wanna become, This morning i read something on the back of a truck which can only roughly translated as ” your Maruti is a soap case, the bus you drive is a woman, Ta Ta trucks are driven by men”
  6. Try this

And before you pick up your keys and free your mind, be good to your family…buy some insurance!

whatever you do, next time i turn up on the road, make way…or this is what I am going to do to you…..


peace!
Pradster out
!

Dangerous curves!! ( Warning : Not safe for Anyone)

You are driving on the road, minding your own bloody business, with tons on your mind….. and fate shovels this in your face!

instead of grimacing and whining i thought i shall take a picture and put the whole world down with bad taste..

yes i am mean, VERY mean!