Category Archives: funny

Fetch Shera, Fetch!

 In the midst of the huge clusterfuck that the Delhi commonwealth games are promising to be, it seems all of us have forgotten a very important participant. The Mascot. The mascot of each games is the figurehead, the symbol of each games. Its responsibilities include motivating the hoards to actually do something to telling kids to stay in school and lay off the drugs. Mascots have been used to ferry athletes ( With disastrous consequences) and try to keep the blood thirsty mob entertained when the action gets too slow for their liking. Its ripe time, I suppose, to introduce you to the mascot for the 2010 Delhi games, Shera!
The makers of this cartoon had never heard of He-man
No not her but did they not know about He-Man?
Hes saying You gotta be kidding! He’s saying You gotta be kidding!

 The organising comittee guys dont think a lot, so they chose the obvious, A tiger and clad him in slumdog millionaire chaddi baniyan.  For the want of a proper budget they got a 5th grader to draw him and they gave him the most common name, for a dog. Whats more, he looks like he is flipping everyone off.

Here’s what the official release has to say ( Words in italic are mine):

As the true representative of India, Shera embodies values that the nation is proud of: majesty, courage, power and grace (while wearing rupa ki banian and lux ka underwear). He is also a reminder of the fragile environment he lives in(But yet acts cocky, flipping everyone off). He is the most visible face of the Delhi 2010, its key icon( Did you see that pedosmile? and those leering eyes?), and exhorts all citizens of India – young and old – to ‘Come Out and Play(A semi naked tiger is calling you out to play, dont you wanna join?),’ to participate proactively in making the Games a huge success( He is going to build the stadium by himself, while the IOC is busy mud wrestling).

Does anyone notice this tiger is baniyan is shrinking? Plus he looks famished, when was the last time he ate?

I’ll sign out leaving you with this video of our mascot.




Can you recognise this song?

Here is something that I happened to find on the treasure trove that is the Internet.
This is called the Song chart meme, I have featured some of my favorite ones right here, lets see how many you can guess right!

Leave your answers in the comments box.

(from Song chart meme)

Bill stickers is innocent!

Bill stickers is innocent and I agree 😉

Real deep thoughts

This reminds me of the late comedian Mitch Hedburg. Its credited to Jack Handey at the place where i found this.
I really dont care, this shit is hilarious!!

Deep Thoughts
(by Jack Handey)

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
decided to go home instead.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I
bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it
shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo,
flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a
beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful
painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
some good ideas.
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons
(maybe by shoving them down his throat).
Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call
them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what,
can't we all be brothers?
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out
that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because
I was thinking about doing that anyway.
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and
"ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind.
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing
and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get
drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park
and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go
to sleep.
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like
a regular window.
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like
I am now.
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and
whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger
toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had
bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled
off the paint.
Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,
even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're
talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading
a magazine.
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think
it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to
teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting
the vulture.
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on
a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run
with a wooden stake.
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think
a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me,
it's not.
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a
dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look
out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over
here, looking through your stuff.
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add
a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

You have a great day, take care 🙂

Are you intellectually challanged?

So you bought yourself a nice bachelor pad, filled it up with Ikea furniture, but you went overboard and also bought a bookshelf…

wait, a bookshelf? but you do not read, beyond work you dont even read the signs on the road.
You want a bookshelf, since it will tell the chicas who drop by that you are a man of intellect, but it will only work if it has some books in it, some serious looking books that is. Old porno mags and comics just wont cut it, neither will your pee’d on college textbooks.

so what do you do?

Your panacea is finally here,

Book decor!!!

here is what they have to say for themselves

Your source for decorative antique leather bound books – Old used books for Interior Designers, Decorators and the Public

I shall leave you with their best part, their FAQ section :

Why are your books not in English?
You sell Books by the Foot, and Books by the Yard. How many books is that?
Book Decor has supplied books for set decoration in 4 recent Mel Gibson films….

Wait!! what books did they have in Apocalypto???

Marital rating scale for wives!

“100 point rating scale!!

Blueprint for happiness!!”

This marital test is a ripper, see it to belive it 😉

an obvious relic of the 1930’s, this one brought along a truckload of laughs

Find the full test here

( Via : Boing Boing)

Song playing in my head : She’s so high : Blur