Monthly Archives: February 2010

Jersey Shore – Meet the Patels

I am going to admit, with great shame, that I am addicted to the wonders of Jersey shore, the show about jersey Guidos and Guidettes ( Wiki it for me, will ya?) hanging out by the shady meat market beach resort, seaside heights.

If you have seen the show, read bloody on, and if have not. Slap yourself in the face and download it like right now. It’s the illest dope. Seriously!

I think it’s the Jersey Shore effect, while I am not rushing out to buy myself a tanning bed or get a blowout haircut ( an appointment with the stylist is due today, decision time) I figured we should make another season of Jersey shore and instead of Guidos we should get the other dominant Jersey community to represent jersey style- Presenting, the Gujjus!
Yeah, the mighty Gujjus!  Lets gather a bunch of strapping Gujrati babas and babys , let them loose on seaside with a bunch of camera’s trailing them and show the Guidos how its done!
Here’s how I imagine the shit is going to go down :
All contestants arrive one by one mostly from Jackson heights and Edison, introductions let us know how good kids they are, doing paye lagu and receiving the blessings of their very happy and clueless parents .
Looks like everyone has packed thepla but insist that their moms put it there, how could they eat the thepla? They own the McDonald’s by the corner! They Frikking love burgers!
There shall be no mixed sex sleeping arrangements, mum might be watching and if televised, this will totally ruin your chances in the arranged marriage market.
That uncle’s wife’s sister’s sons cousin brother went to the same school as your neighbours kids. That makes you family, apparently similar ties now bind the group together. Much love.
The guys spend most of the day discussing stocks and real estate prices, which will decide where the next motel or dollar store will be located. Three guys will decide that the t-shirt salesman job is shite and will open a competing store right next door. The girls will work all day and prepare a 17 course Gujarati meal.

om nom nom nom nom

Clubbing? Nah. Everyone gets ready for the Dandia! You got the fist pump? We got sticks bitches!
Before they go out and set fire to this city, they pray to the original Gujju guido. Ashmit Patel.

Proud Indian guido, Gujju to boot.

The single men go out stalking the white chicks, Eh Wassup ? ssssanti chhe……??  Sadly The boys only have each other for company in the night.

look at us, we be rockin baby! Bouncing!

Yes people, this show writes itself, no scripting no directions pure unadulterated drama. And guess what, we’ll throw in an odd Punjabi, Bihari or Mallu guy. Just to see them tear each other apart.
Please watch on in horror as I pat myself on the back. Whatey Idea sirji!


forged, steeled

The eternal nights of promise,
The sunlight shimmers of hope,
The moments spent day dreaming,
The expectations of a better tomorrow.
Dont forget to smile,
As you live through the beauty,
That surrounds you today,
The sharpest swords, the towers of steel
Were all forged through fire.
The eternal flame of desire.