Road rage!

I am convinced, all ppl on Delhi roads are animals! To give you some background i have just come back home after trudging 30 kms in an astounding 2 hours, and no it was not a crawl all the way there were sections where i hit 120 and i was doing 80 wherever possible. However the only thing managed to do was to get from one jam to another faster….
So many idiots holding a drivers license behave like cows on the road, like an unstoppable herd of wilderbeest plowing its way across the Savannah! I wish i had a sniper rifle or better a shoulder fired missile or even better a tank! an M1 Abrams would do just fine with its jet turbine propulsion, thank you !
I have however been on a zen trip…. Like all Indian who suck at what they do but still excel at handing advice, I shall dispense Tips to Control Road Rage!

Lets begin!!
  1. The best way to control your rage is to channel it! why bottle up inside? open your window and scream hysterically! not only will it make everyone else crap their pants, it will also clear your throat! Nothing boosts your reputation in the neighbourhood as the knowledge that you have trouble written all over your face. In case they cant read it, try a darker pen to write.
  2. Take a power nap, turn off your engines and turn the music up loud so the honking wont disturb you and go to sleep…wear this mask so that when the cars and tucks behind you want you to move and somebody really really angry walks up to you to check whats up, you can put the love of god back into them.
  3. More music, and remember to honk in tune….this helps transfer your rage to the other simians behind the wheels.
  4. Expert studies have proven that driving while waving the middle finger out of the window reduces stress by 34% however in certain unfortunate cases it is also known to reduce number of hands by 50% we want you safe, get your buddy to do it for you.
  5. Buy a truck, traffic jams will seem lengthier from your vantage point, but you will be able to squeeze in every possible/impossible opening without a care, your truck already looks crap and no one will leave the paint and metal that you scrape off from the other cars! In fact it might make you the man you wanna become, This morning i read something on the back of a truck which can only roughly translated as ” your Maruti is a soap case, the bus you drive is a woman, Ta Ta trucks are driven by men”
  6. Try this

And before you pick up your keys and free your mind, be good to your family…buy some insurance!

whatever you do, next time i turn up on the road, make way…or this is what I am going to do to you…..


peace!
Pradster out
!

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One thought on “Road rage!

  1. Jyoti says:

    Workable suggestions..I’ll be trying them on U! 😛

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