Man is often called a social animal, social or anti-social we remain beneath it all as animals.
And just like animals do we have our own mating rituals…okay I am not going “there” but the stage before we get “there”. The human rituals involve eye contact, body language, talk and the sense of touch….
“Yahin to maat kha gaya India!!” (This where India looses the plot)
public displays of affection are frowned upon in India, you can do what you want behind closed doors, we shall pretend nothing happened but please do not do anything in public that may remind those watching of the activities you can indulge in….
Hence the only seemingly heterosexual activity that couples in India can publicly indulge in is holding hands…so what do you do when you so want to feel that person?
That’s where people invent stupid games.
One such game was played out by a bunch of morons high on hormones but low on grey matter in my college classroom one morning.
Apparently slime (male) had a thing for saalli (female) also present with them in class were madman (data inconclusive), papeeta (female), Shapiro (female) and sweater (female)
The names are very thinly disguised for I do not give a damn if these people find out that their stupid antics are out….names have been changed only coz I want to protect *MY* identity!!
Coming back to the scene in question, since slime and saalli so wanted to feel each other but could not for lack of privacy they decided to veil their emotions and devised a novel method of feeling each other….by slapping each other!!
Madman (no one knows if he/she is a man/woman so I guess this is the wrong name) had some feeling for Shapiro and papeeta both of whom were high on estrogen…and sweater who happened to be saalli’s best buddy had a thing for slime….complicated yes, but you know what these kinds of situations lead to…
Soon everyone was slapping everyone else, every slap met by laughter and satisfaction. This was fast becoming an S&M party!
I walked into class to witness some tight ones being exchanged, bundled with looks that could have meant anything depending upon how you interpreted them…
I could not realize what I had walked into; these were after all people that I called friends…
I was soon discovered and Shapiro ran towards me shouting “PRADSTER”
She is happy to see me! So I thought; till my thoughts were rudely interrupted by what else but a slap!
She ran to me and with a giggle gave me one on the cheek….lets freeze frame here!
I have had training in self defense, couple that with my aggressive nature and a middle level qualifications in karate…and you have an explosive package…with a very short fuse!
Unbeknown to Shapiro she had just lit that tiny fuse… and I had a reflex action to match.
No, I did not slap her, not my style and I despise attacking a lady in any case…I merely acted in self defense….
As soon as her hand made contact with my face my elbow traveled in an arc towards her face and connected!
Absolute silence prevailed…between short pitched squeals from Shapiro who was holding her nose and agonizing…
I never meant to hit her, but this is the way I am programmed …I acted merely out of reflex.
She had a red nose for 3 days and thankfully these people never played that “game” again at least not when I was around!
Served those horny idiots right …I think so !
Moral of the story? …Go Figure!
Song playing in my head: Wicked Game (666 remix) – HIM