help! my pectorals are killing me!

While I battle my shoulder strain caused by a new exercise routine I do not have any original material to write. I still risk abdominal pain (I did too many crunches and my abs kills me when I laugh) to give you this….

13 obscure statistics!

  1. Britain has an estimated three quarters of a million bedwetters

       (What sissies!)

  1. An estimated 600,000 Americans are impotent from injuries to their crotches. Approximately 40% of these are bicycling accidents

(Now you know why Sheryl crow split up with lance Armstrong!)

  1. Seven out of ten Americans have day dreams about having sex with their boss, irrespective of whether or not they are the same sex!

(Know what I think, I need some female employees in my firm!)

  1. One in 13 British adults has purchased a vibrator in the last 10 years.

(Who wants to sleep with a bedwetter anyways, all they can use is the jackrabbit!)

  1. According to a recent survey, one in three male motorists picks his nose while driving.

(And of the other two on is on the cell phone and the other holding his crotch)

  1. everyday 365000 people are newly infected with a sexually transmitted disease

(Its called stupidity and it passes from generation to generation)

  1. 95% of all lavatory hot air dryers discharge pathogenic bacteria which can cause food poisoning and a variety of skin disorders including boils and abscesses.

(That’s why they tell you not to dry your face under it…go use a tissue and kill another tree)

  1. India and Bangladesh have exported more human skeletons for medical research than any other country. The trade is now prohibited as an affront to national dignity.

(We now export live specimens, use and throw variety)

  1. More than 35,000 Americans have had themselves insured against being kidnapped or eaten alive by aliens.

(But you still need to prove that when you disappeared for those 14 days you were actually kidnapped and were not licking salt off some stripper’s ass for your vodka shots!)

  1. To date 15 Americans have been crushed to death while attempting to tilt soft-drink vending machines.

(I bet it wasn’t a diet cola dispenser)

  1. 24 people have been killed in Tokyo due to skull fractures received while bowing to each other with the traditional Japanese greeting.

(The current practice is to yell “sup bitch! How’s it hanging!” It’s safer if you don’t count the drive by shootings)

  1. On average every glass of London tap water has already passed through the bladders of nine other people.

(Now you can tell everyone why you are so full of piss!)

  1. Irish men suffer from less dandruff than those in any other country

(What this does not tell is that they also have less hair than those in any other county…win some loose some!)

okay my abs are hurting me and I got to split, have fun… Pradster out!

Song playing in my head: what’s my age again? : Blink 182

Tags: humor, fun, lists


One thought on “help! my pectorals are killing me!

  1. the girl says:

    just stopped by to say “hi”

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