I had planned to retire early to bed, but then Ash messaged. She had just come back from a trip to Bombay and wanted to talk about it. As we talked, the topic of conversation drifted from her trip to books to memories to spirituality and so on…
By the time we hung up it was nearly one in the night and I had snuggled up to rest my sleep deprived soul at about 10:15. Bollocks!
I should have gone to sleep as we hung up but I could not, as we were talking about childhood memories I told her about my days as a kid and those scenes flashed by my eyes, only to be stuck at one major memory. Cara!
She hung around my place all day, that is when I was not at hers , she shared all her stuff with me , on holidays she would pester her mum to drop her off at my place , I would be the first person to be invited to her birthday parties , she even let me blow the candles on HER birthday cake (can you believe it!!) which was –as I still vividly remember –in the shape of an airplane , the form of the cake chosen only because I liked it , I wish I still had those crayon cards she made for me for no occasion what so ever.
I let her unwrap all of MY presents, she was always the first to arrive last to leave, and I was left wishing that she never left.
I wish I knew where she was.
These memories are 17 years old, we were kids growing up together and as my mum constantly reminds me she was my first love. Hell! I even wanted to marry her, there is this dream that I remember – as fresh as this morning’s dew – of me landing my aircraft next to her place, picking her up and flying away….
She moved out a year before I did , the last I heard of her was that her parents divorced , I don’t know who got to keep her , I don’t know where they went , I wish I did….
I know she loved me.
Just as I loved her, and I was all of 5 years old!
Song playing in my head: But not tonight :Scott Weiland