Deconstructing Bengal



I have nothing against Bengal or Bengalis in general but there is something about the Bengali species that makes me tear my hair out in frustration.
Its true; the Bengali is a unique creature , In winter, the quintessential Bengali’s outfit puts the polar bear to shame. Packaged in at least seven layers of clothing and the head snugly packed inside the queerest headgear, the monkey cap, he takes the chill head on. Easy lies the head that wears the monkey cap. With a pom-pom at the top, it’s not just a fashion statement; it’s a complete fashion paragraph.
“Sweater porey nao, thanda lege jabey” while the sun is blazing in full glory and a mild breeze blows, reluctant kids can be seen ambling about in gear sufficient to brave the arctic winter, The monkey cap and the other favorite; thick rimmed glasses in place.

Without doubt the worst place to encounter the pride of Bengal would be a government office. Be it a clerk or a peon or a junior manager – everybody is king of what little he surveys. Your simplest request gets converted into seemingly rocket science and every possibility starts becoming impossible.
Bengalis love history for that’s probably all they have name a discipline and Bengali’s will fire names of people who “were something” , they had cricket to hold on to but then even ganguly is nearly history.

The Bengalis love football but Since Bengalis have maintained their miserable track record in the game, this would strike you as somewhat strange. The talents that Bengalis have managed to produce since, would make football-playing slum dwellers in Rio appear of Ronaldo’s caliber, but that doesn’t stop them anticipating the FIFA World Cup like their own team’s in danger of making off with the trophy this year.

The Bengalis health is his other major concern When it comes to hypochondria – and other Indians need not add anything here; the facts are self-evident – Bengalis know no equal. From enlarged liver and cardiac murmur to chest pains, gripes and arthritis – Calcutta’s 10 million population to a man will cite “acidity” as the root cause. The community is unusually concerned with their digestive systems, and symptoms of indigestion get precedence in the health complaint list over everything else – even their common cough and cold. (Change in seasons is anticipated with mounting fear, and before the Celsius can drop even five degrees below normal, Bengalis have thrown blankets, shawls and monkey caps over themselves and their families to save their lungs from a grievous attack of phlegm.) Enquire into a Bengali’s health at your peril, because he enjoys nothing more than giving a detailed account of his well-being, or lack of it, and nothing from his bodily functions to his bathroom habits is beyond the pale

The Bengali’s are one inversely snobbish lot Unambitious lot, other Indians may say, but fact is your posh penthouse apartment, designer clothes and fancy set of wheels won’t turn many Bengalis green with envy. Rather, he will wonder what crooked path led you to the windfall, as he fingers the used bus ticket in his pocket and gets solace from the fact that such glamorous acquisitions haven’t vitiated his secure existence.
Bengalis can be terribly fulfilled, whatever their surroundings, and if they turn up their nose at anything that’s deemed ostentatious or costing over 500 bucks, the apathy is genuine more likely than a mere case of sour grapes.

The phrase “Para Ninda Para Charcha” (Criticism and Debate about Others) enjoys an acronym (PNPC) due possibly to overuse, and deconstructing the conduct of people, places and things are all an integral component of adda – extended argument sessions that Bengalis find most constructive.
I guess this article will give them lots to argue about….he he….pradster out!!

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10 thoughts on “Deconstructing Bengal

  1. Royal Bengal Turtle says:

    thees eez an insult to the peepool of Bengal! oowwee bhil not let thish shtand! Paanjaab Murdaabaad!!!

  2. pradster13 says:

    lol….rbt nice momota bannerjee impersontion….i am waiting for the counter post on your blog..
    cheers
    pallav

  3. Swagata says:

    wow, very funny and very true, u hav a great observation power, not being a bengali urself how did u know them so accurately? must hav dated a bengali girl or something…. The worst thing is that they will never accept any of this as true, Bengalis think they are a superior species, they hav the right to criticize every other community calling them such names as tetul, ure, bandhakopi etc but can’t tolerate a single line of criticism themselves.

  4. pradster13 says:

    u see the mamta banerjee impersonator is a life long friend….i have known him for 19 of my 22 years…..thats better than having dated a bengali girl….

  5. Łóòň Ġãĺ says:

    hahahaaaa u crack me up!!!

    i havent had ne bengali frnds or ne bongs arnd me actually … so have no idea how true it is … but am certainly waiting to read ur bengal turtle’s counter post…lol! Lets see wut hez got to say in punjabizz ki shaan!

  6. pradster13 says:

    gee cheesy even i am looking forward to his post…cant wait to get my hands dirty!!..lol

  7. Sanjukta says:

    Pradster your post was one of the best I have read off leate and Turtle’s comment is just the icing on the cake we needed…

    Congrats & Thanks for entertaining.

    BTW me is a bengali

  8. Łóòň Ġãĺ says:

    LMAO!!!!!!

    The pic! Sheesh rocksta … that was too much now!!! hahahahahahaaaaa…

  9. Royal Bengal Turtle says:

    My reply to this piece is now up on my blog. Let the chauvinist games begin!

  10. mayank says:

    hilarious, a similar article appeared on HT

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