Rules By Men

i know i am too lazy, i have a lot on mymind but i’ll make do with this: (something that i picked from somewhere)
“We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are ‘OUR’ rules!
Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE

The Rules !!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing tide. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking – unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, golf, sports, shotguns, fishing or sports cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. We are in shape. Round is a shape.

read these to your spouses,girlfreinds surely you’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight, but then you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping

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10 thoughts on “Rules By Men

  1. mike bryant says:

    way to go man!!

  2. Sanjukta says:

    hey am not sure if something is wrong with me but I kinda like the rules…Guess my ideal man would be the one who likes to follow those rules…am weird…i know

  3. pradster13 says:

    i am happy to know that ladies are ready to abide by these rules…wooh

  4. Subiet says:

    nice one pradster, though i am little young to have a live-in companion or wife write now, but still i can identify with most of the rules.

    btw, “
    ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.”

    “windows default setting” is ambiguous and technically incorrect. ALSO any referrence to windows or Microsoft kills 50% of the fun. Yeah, you guessed it right i live in a linux country, where on a quite night you can hear a windows NT reboot.

    btw, do u know any programming language, void and null ???

  5. pradster13 says:

    when windows 98se comes out fresh of the over it has only 16 colours…till you load the display drivers that is….i used to live in red hat land ..till i was booted out for being incompatible, i now live my years in exile on a xp SP2 machine waiting for my ticket to Mac heaven

  6. Subiet says:

    pradster, true, what you said, that is why i said ambiguous, coz xp comes out of the box in full glory and so did windows 3.1 ;-‘).

  7. Sanjukta says:

    Pradster and Subiet..yeh windows windows kya hai..yeh windows windows…i have got no clue what you guys are talking about..

  8. the girl says:

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. -If only my man went by that rule! He ALWAYS talks during the program.

    1. Sunday = sports. -I grew up with that but have since dated men who actually are NOT stuck in front of the TV each Sunday. And I love it.

    1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. -From my experience you guys spend very little time looking at the lingerie before you tear it off us.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. -That is BS!

  9. pradster13 says:

    you see lingerie is like gift wrapping….you choose the best, take care to do it nicely but derrive the most fun when the reciever tears the wrapper ignores it and loves the gift instead…..you would not want us to admire you in that lingerie all night , would ya??..lol

  10. the girl says:

    Touche 🙂

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