I am trying to re prioritize everything right now. My C.A. finals are nearly here and I am not sure how prepared I am. Since I want to spend more time holed up in my room studying I have to bid good bye –for the time being – to some of my favorite activities.
Blogging is one of them. I really hope I get through and I can resume with my life which has been on hold for 3 years now….before it hangs up on me.
I have been out of touch with many old friends and as a result fallen out of favor with many of them. With my emphasis on my studies and not spending time with my best friends M and P, I risk getting in their bad books as well.
P has always been a like a lil sister to me, never mind the fact that she is in fact 13 days older. She had been away from Delhi for some while so I kept in touch with her through M. Now that she is back we all had hoped to be in touch more than we used to, while M and P have managed to keep more than touch- they were even working together-I have been as usual absconding.
Its P’s birthday tomorrow, I know I wont be able to make it…I could feel the tone in M’s voice when I told her I will not be able to come to the party she was organizing for P. I knew I had let her down, I feel bad, remorseful but there is little I can do.
All I asked M is for her to lend me her support so that I can study hard and realize my dreams, and the best thing about this lovely woman is that she understands.( she deserves a whole book on her…lets see!)
I like my work, maybe I am a workaholic though I do not like that term but I love my friends more thy know they are special for me …and even though I cannot be around all the time I always hope and pray that they get the best in life.
I hope they know this…I hope I am not misunderstood
This brings to my mind another incident, some 6-7 months earlier one of my good friends ash decided to organize a get together for all us former classmates. She told me of the plan and I honestly told her I wasn’t really gung ho about it. There were going to be many people in there who had been back biting me, meting them wasn’t anywhere on my to do list. Still persuaded my dear friend ash, I decided to go. She argued that this would be an occasion where we can set things right and in any case there were other non obnoxious people who were going to be there and they really wanted to meet me.
As I ventured out of home I did not have any of the initial skepticism. for a change I was looking forward to this get together as well. As I reached the decided meting point I could not find anyone there (I was late…I had a solid excuse) being without a cellphone and not carrying my phone book I could not get in touch and find out where the gang was. I sadly got back home and called up ash, talked to everyone who was there to be told that they were missing me and I should have gotten there.
I felt bad
But I felt worse when talking to ash a couple of day later she told me that some of the bunch (obnoxious one’s as usual) felt and loudly announced the word that I had not come to the place and was bluffing.
That feeling of rage is indescribable. How could anyone be so moronic? I felt angry but I also felt sad my best efforts were yet again MISUNDERSTOOD.
On a much much better note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to P (25/8/2005) from her loving bro Pradster. I may not be able to make it but you know I am there with you in my mind always. Forgive me for my faux passes. I will make it up to you someday. I promise.
With a billion truckloads of love
I would request everyone to drop in a birthday greeting for P in the comments box. Thanks to those who have done the same.
Song playing in my head right now: Misundazzstood by pink who incidentally shares her birthday with me.