Monthly Archives: August 2005

Yeah We Know You!

A commie replying to the PM’s charge against the left:
“But we are not privatizing profit making PSU’s in Bengal…”
He thought we’ll never figure it out, they have NO profit making PSU’s in west Bengal.


LOONY update

Pat Robertson update;
Here is what the dumb asses are talking about

Pat Robertson starting the fire: “we have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability”

Translation: let’s get the oil hoarding bastard and get cheap oil….since we have failed
to get any from Iraq!

Donald Rumsfeld responding to Robertson’s remarks: “he is a private citizen. Private Citizens say all kinds of things all the time”.

Translation: The American people are a bunch of nuts. He happens to be one of them.
Don’t believe me? They elected Bush didn’t they?

Hugo Chavez hitting back: “my detractors are like dogs with rabies in Don Quixote…. We want to sell gasoline directly to the poor in the U.S.”

Translation: Screw the Chinese, I want to buy Unocal.

Pat Robertson on how he was “misinterpreted”: “I said special forces could take him out. Take him out could be a number of things, including kidnapping”.

Translation: it could also be A romantic movie and a nice romantic 5 course dinner
In a fine restaurant., a visit together to the amusement park, A night out,
and snuggling up in bed together…..!!

Song playing in my head right now: KKK took my baby away by The Ramones

They Need A Smack On The Face

This is from the daily show by Jon Stewart a must watch on CNN and the comedy central network:
The delay of the Iraqi constitution is a bit of a setback for the Bush administration, which just last week touted Iraq’s ability to remain on the schedule it’s set for itself when President Bush said, “We have made it clear that we believe that constitution can be and should be agreed upon by August 15. And so I’m operating on the assumption that it will be agreed upon by August 15.” Clearly the president was forgetting that when you “assume,” you make an ass out of U… S. foreign policy,

Also Pat Robertson the TV. Evangelist has apparently been making a few noises. he has asked for- and now apologized for asking – the united states government to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. His achievements before this dumbfounding appeal included a T.V. prayer for a vacant seat in the Supreme Court where a righteous Christian judge could be installed. After this wish has been fulfilled by god and his commander in chief dubya, Robertson wants another vacant post. Which is effectively praying that one of the current judges die….the loonies have been let loose.
Chavez’s response to Robertson’s threat is stuff that legends are made of: “If US forces get the crazy idea of coming to invade us, we’ll make them bite the dust.” That’s him, preemptively attacking the U.S. with Queen Lyrics from 1980.

Song playing in my head right now: American Idiot by Green Day

Does This Happen To You?

Its one of those moments when I rue my single status. While I am happy to flaunt it like a war medallion most of the time, there is an occasional blip on the horizon where I yearn for companionship, those sweet nothings, that look…ah it has been a long time. I know, I know.
To add to it whenever I have such a day there seems to be a spurt in the number of beautiful women in the vicinity. The heartburn! Yes …better get some antacid!
if you suffer the same blues sometimes….tell me about them

Song playing in my head right now: Fallin’ by Alicia Keys

Teri To …

I have never felt so pissed and pissed on at the same time. Argh! I wish I had a punching bad to relive my stress.
I think I’ll go back to my college and pick a fight with the chairman for messing with me and my buddies. Who needs a punching bag when I can Sock him…..!
Its Payback time.

Song playing in my head right now: Break Stuff by Limp BizKit

Please Try to Understand!!

I am trying to re prioritize everything right now. My C.A. finals are nearly here and I am not sure how prepared I am. Since I want to spend more time holed up in my room studying I have to bid good bye –for the time being – to some of my favorite activities.
Blogging is one of them. I really hope I get through and I can resume with my life which has been on hold for 3 years now….before it hangs up on me.
I have been out of touch with many old friends and as a result fallen out of favor with many of them. With my emphasis on my studies and not spending time with my best friends M and P, I risk getting in their bad books as well.
P has always been a like a lil sister to me, never mind the fact that she is in fact 13 days older. She had been away from Delhi for some while so I kept in touch with her through M. Now that she is back we all had hoped to be in touch more than we used to, while M and P have managed to keep more than touch- they were even working together-I have been as usual absconding.
Its P’s birthday tomorrow, I know I wont be able to make it…I could feel the tone in M’s voice when I told her I will not be able to come to the party she was organizing for P. I knew I had let her down, I feel bad, remorseful but there is little I can do.
All I asked M is for her to lend me her support so that I can study hard and realize my dreams, and the best thing about this lovely woman is that she understands.( she deserves a whole book on her…lets see!)
I like my work, maybe I am a workaholic though I do not like that term but I love my friends more thy know they are special for me …and even though I cannot be around all the time I always hope and pray that they get the best in life.
I hope they know this…I hope I am not misunderstood

This brings to my mind another incident, some 6-7 months earlier one of my good friends ash decided to organize a get together for all us former classmates. She told me of the plan and I honestly told her I wasn’t really gung ho about it. There were going to be many people in there who had been back biting me, meting them wasn’t anywhere on my to do list. Still persuaded my dear friend ash, I decided to go. She argued that this would be an occasion where we can set things right and in any case there were other non obnoxious people who were going to be there and they really wanted to meet me.
As I ventured out of home I did not have any of the initial skepticism. for a change I was looking forward to this get together as well. As I reached the decided meting point I could not find anyone there (I was late…I had a solid excuse) being without a cellphone and not carrying my phone book I could not get in touch and find out where the gang was. I sadly got back home and called up ash, talked to everyone who was there to be told that they were missing me and I should have gotten there.
I felt bad

But I felt worse when talking to ash a couple of day later she told me that some of the bunch (obnoxious one’s as usual) felt and loudly announced the word that I had not come to the place and was bluffing.
That feeling of rage is indescribable. How could anyone be so moronic? I felt angry but I also felt sad my best efforts were yet again MISUNDERSTOOD.

On a much much better note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to P (25/8/2005) from her loving bro Pradster. I may not be able to make it but you know I am there with you in my mind always. Forgive me for my faux passes. I will make it up to you someday. I promise.
With a billion truckloads of love

I would request everyone to drop in a birthday greeting for P in the comments box. Thanks to those who have done the same.
Song playing in my head right now: Misundazzstood by pink who incidentally shares her birthday with me.

kites of fancy!

It’s better to have flown and been “aiboed’ (or eyebowed…whatever!) Than never have flown at all.
The Pradster

Swat that cricket

Let me set the record straight… I AM NOT A CRICKT FAN, the only reason why I watch the occasional game is the fact that it is the only sport we Indians are good at (Somewhat!)
I have NEVER been interested in cricket, I prefer the game of football, basketball or maybe even motor sports much MUCH more exciting. Supporting the national team is what makes me watch the game, and I rue it very single time.
Well you see, watching your fellow Indians drop their pants down with gay abandon (gay abandon??…are all homos out?) and surrender in response to the slightest of aggression is not a really pleasing sight. Nobody gives a damn to whether the flag was flying upside down in dambula: it does not matter if they put it horizontally if they want to, coz if the Indian team has its way the flag is going to be buried under a big pile of S**t.
Talking about the Indian team, it probably does not matter who the coach, captain, or for that matter the team members are…they inevitably suck. It seems they are handpicked for this ability; the selectors gather them in a room and select the most awful stinkers for the team, train them into a bunch of champion lubbers , train them even more to make them better losers and the actually set them loose on to us.
Now I do not have a solution for India’s cricketing ill’s but then if you apply your mind to a problem, you can solve it… think like any manager would- a business manager that is.
Eureka!! … That’s it, I have the solution. If you are running a business and your employees or team mates sucked at whatever they did what would you do?
Yes I know …you would fire them and outsource the job. There you have it “OUTSOURCE THE JOB”. To solve the perils of the Indian team and to save the nation from collective shame…outsource the following departments namely:

Fielding and maybe even the tossing department.

Indians could still be employed, for somebody has to carry drinks for the tired players: we still would need a 12th man.
Once you have outsourced these jobs to competent Australians, kiwi’s and South Africans. We can also find skilled yet cheap labour from Pakistan, Sri Lanka and even Bangladesh (they beat the Aussies…something I don’t think we’ve done lately) you’ll find many of your problems fading. Other things to fade will be dim-witted news flashes about sachins tires, sehwags energy drink (I think he drank to much of it and is now suffering from diarrhea, which explains his urge to get out and go back to the pavilion as soon as possible) and dravids inane advice.
This outsourcing will also work for the poor folks that we employ. The white guys in the team will readily find employment (in the off season) in the Hindi movie industry (I think they find the word Bollywood insulting… so I am going to say it again and again…Bollywood, Bollywood, Bollywood…na na na na) since the industry (Bollywood, Bollywood) Is looking for that one breakthrough movie which will succeed in America and establish Bollywood (ha ha ha) there they could well employ firangs.
Till now we had firang ladies in our movies who were there for the plain fact that Indians could see something different (more cleavage?) but now that the demand is being met by mallika sherawat and co. it’s for the firang boys to try their luck.

Some might be getting concerned at the plight of the Indian cricketers who will be rendered jobless. Well they can form a union and try to march to the BCCI’s office.I am sure going by the current standards they will be lathi charged and should be lucky to get out alive. They can surely live for many years on the crores they have earned. In any case these people will have to find a job that they are ACTUALLY GOOD AT. Like the rest of us folks have to!!Till the day Messrs Dalmia and co. realize that this move shall benefit them and earn them crores and maybe put them back onto the icc hot seat this may well remain a pipe dream just like an Indian victory over teams ranked above us.

Face the truth

This Saturday the world shall “celebrate” the 60th anniversary of the first atomic detonation on Hiroshima, all this while they should be mourning it instead.
For long the Americans have justified the use of the atomic bomb giving the following alibis:

1) the previous war experiences of Truman
2) The expectations of the American public.
3) an assessment of the possibilities of achieving a quick victory by other means
4) the complex relation with the soviets
people will always find it difficult to unload a bigger load of bullshit (or maybe bush did manage to!!)
It is said that Truman –who had served in the infantry in the first world war- wanted a quick end to the war to minimize human losses. The fallacy of this argument was proven by the massacre of upwards of 70,000 people in a single second. This huge number – nearly all civilian- would have been achieved in regular combat in at least 2-3 months or maybe more. The expectations of the American public surely must have been a factor, but surely they did not know it would come to this. There is no population in this world who will condone such savage massacre of innocent men, women and children… or maybe there is.
There was pressure from the military circles though; the general and scientist who participated in the Manhattan project wanted the weapon they had developed to be used. Much like a little boy who wants to play with a new toy, as soon as he gets hold of it. This is a very cruel analogy I know ….but its true.
As new skeletons emerge from this dirty closet we now know that Japan was indeed close to surrender much before the two A-bombs were used. Negotiations had been on with the Americans over the terms of the surrender, the Americans wanted a complete dissolution of the monarchy in Japan, which was opposed by the Japanese hence delaying any possible settlement and an ensuing surrender.
After the bombs were dropped the Americans revoked the clause demanding the dissolution of the monarchy and the Japs who had wanted to surrender since much before were happy to oblige. In fact by mid-1945, an American naval blockade had effectively cut off the home islands from the rest of the world. Moreover, regular incendiary bombing raids were destroying huge portions of one city after another, food and fuel were in short supply, and millions of civilians were homeless. General Curtis LeMay, the commander of American air forces in the Pacific, estimated that by the end of September he would have destroyed every target in Japan worth hitting, thus making the atomic bombs redundant
Nothing can however explain the use of the atomic bombings except the motive of the Americans to overshadow the reds and emerge as the one biggest power. Critics of the Cold War increasingly took up the argument that the atomic bombs had not been necessary to compel Japan’s surrender but had been deployed to prevent Soviet entry into the Asian war or to provide the Soviet Union with a graphic example of the devastation it would face if it challenged American supremacy in the postwar world .
The fact that the bomb was first tested in July and then actually used as soon as august says a lot about the haste with which the lives of all the victims were dispensed with.(the actual type of bomb used on august 6 was an untested type for which sufficient uranium had been collected only on by the 1st)While the Nazis and many Japanese generals were tried and convicted of war crimes, the worst perpetrators- the Americans- sadly were touted as heroes. The allied attacks on Dresden (which wiped off 1,35,000 civilians and achieved little militarily), Hiroshima, Nagasaki and several other centers of civilian population are screamers that will continue to howl till eternity. The actions of the current comic in chief (sic) are not adding to the goodwill of his country, with enough muck on its face America should avoid more dirt (sands of Iraq maybe) if it wants to stand tall in the future